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France SUCKS

Yeah, this is my all France Bashing, all the time page. Check often for biting wit from yours truly attacking everyone's favorite cheese eating surrender monkeys!

 

Let's face facts, Europe's being run by cowards:

THE writer Henryk Broder recently issued a withering indictment: Europe, your family name is appeasement. That phrase resonates because it is so terribly true.

Appeasement cost millions of Jews and non-Jews their lives as allies Britain and France negotiated and hesitated too long before they realised that Adolf Hitler needed to be fought and defeated, because he could not be bound by toothless agreements.

Later, appeasement legitimised and stabilised communism in the Soviet Union, then in East Germany, then throughout the rest of Eastern Europe, where for several decades inhuman, repressive and murderous governments were glorified.

Appeasement similarly crippled Europe when genocide ran rampant in Bosnia and Kosovo. Indeed, even though we had absolute proof of continuing mass murder there, we Europeans debated and debated, and then debated still more. We were still debating when finally the Americans had to come from halfway around the world, into Europe yet again, to do our work for us.

Europe still hasn't learned. Rather than protecting democracy in the Middle East, European appeasement, camouflaged behind the fuzzy word equidistance, often seems to countenance suicide bombings in Israel by fundamentalist Palestinians.

 

Similarly, it generates a mentality that allows Europe to ignore the almost 500,000 victims of Saddam Hussein's torture and murder machinery and, motivated by the self-righteousness of the peace movement, to harangue George W. Bush as a warmonger.

This hypocrisy continues even as it is discovered that some of the loudest critics of US action in Iraq made illicit billions - indeed, tens of billions - of dollars in the corrupt UN oil-for-food program.

Today we are faced with a particularly grotesque form of appeasement. How is Germany reacting to the escalating violence by Islamic fundamentalists in The Netherlands, Britain and elsewhere in Europe? By suggesting - wait for it - that the proper response to such barbarism is to initiate a Muslim holiday in Germany.

I wish I were joking, but I am not. A substantial fraction of Germany's Government - and, if polls are to be believed, the German people -- actually believe that creating an official state Muslim holiday will somehow spare us from the wrath of fanatical Islamists.

One cannot help but recall Britain's Neville Chamberlain on his return from Munich, waving that laughable treaty signed by Hitler, and declaring the advent of peace in our time.

What atrocity must occur before the European public and its political leadership understands what is really happening in the world? There is a sort of crusade under way; an especially perfidious campaign consisting of systematic attacks by Islamists, focused on civilians, that is directed against our free, open Western societies, and that is intent on their utter destruction.

We find ourselves faced with a conflict that will most likely last longer than any of the great military clashes of the last century, a conflict conducted by an enemy that cannot be tamed by tolerance and accommodation because that enemy is actually spurred on by such gestures. Such responses have proven to be signs of weakness.

Only two recent US presidents have had the courage needed to shun appeasement: Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush. The US's critics may quibble over the details, but in our hearts we Europeans know the truth, because we saw it first hand.

Reagan ended the Cold War, freeing half of Europe from almost 50 years of terror and slavery. And Bush, acting out of moral conviction and supported only by the social democrat Tony Blair, recognised the danger in today's Islamist war against democracy.

In the meantime, Europe sits back in the multicultural corner with its usual blithe self-confidence.

Instead of defending liberal values and acting as an attractive centre of power on the same playing field as the true great powers, the US and China, it does nothing. On the contrary, we Europeans present ourselves, in contrast to the supposedly arrogant Americans, as world champions of tolerance, which even Germany Interior Minister Otto Schily justifiably criticises.

Where does this self-satisfied reaction come from? Does it arise because we are so moral? I fear that it stems from the fact that we Europeans are so materialistic, so devoid of a moral compass.

For his policy of confronting Islamic terrorism head-on, Bush risks the fall of the dollar, huge amounts of additional national debt, and a massive and persistent burden on the US economy. But he does this because, unlike most of Europe, he realises that what is at stake is literally everything that really matters to free people.

While we criticise the capitalistic robber barons of the US because they seem too sure of their priorities, we timidly defend our welfare states. "Stay out of it. It could get expensive," we cry.

So, instead of acting to defend our civilisation, we prefer to discuss reducing our 35-hour work week or improving our dental coverage, or extending our four weeks of annual paid holiday. Or perhaps we listen to television pastors preach about the need to reach out to terrorists, to understand and forgive.

These days, Europe reminds me of an old woman who, with shaking hands, frantically hides her last pieces of jewellery when she notices a robber breaking into a neighbour's house. Appeasement? That is just the start of it. Europe, thy name is Cowardice.

France's War Record:

As far as we can tell, France hasn't really ever won a war on it's own. Let's take a look:

Gallic Wars - Lost. This war is a preview of the next 2000 years of French history, where France is conquered by.... basically everyone.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring them.

War of Devolution - Tied.  Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as hats.

The Dutch War - Tied... with
Dutch.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. These three 'ties' in a row are commonly referred to by French as "the height of French military power."

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlboro, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though Americans actually did most of the fighting. This leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the oppponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule) due to leadership of a midget Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. But, they built their first giant piece of shit in this time period. Moral victory.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunken frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French (who actually set up their own government in support of Nazism) liberated by the United States and Britain just as they took a liking to bratwurst and being Germany's bitch.

War in Indochina - Lost. France loses to rice farmers, breeding communist revolution to be controlled by, you guessed it, Americans in Vietnam.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost to bushmen. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by an entirely Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Eskimo.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe.  Attempts to surrender to the Vietnamese ambassador fails after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

Why does Paris have trees? So the Germans have shade of course. Honestly, I'm personally glad France isn't on our side. We calculate their total record as 4-15-6. That's a winning percentage of 16%. Also known as not even acceptable for the Cincinnati Bengals. Of the 4 wins claimed by France, one was with a woman in charge, another was by virtue of beating itself, one because they allied with the British Colonies (United States) just in time to sneak in a cheap win, and the last only because the USA came to bail them out of losing World War I (and to screw their women). France has been beaten more than Tina Turner. Somehow though, they shoehorned themselves into a position of relevance and global political say, even though they've lost to bushmen, rice farmers, and Italians.

One more for the road...

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

 
   
 

Brought to you by "France Sucks"